Dear diary,

Journey to Geylang!

2012-01-26T13:57:00.001+08:00

So, 2 hours of bus ride journey to first, Island creamery, and now we're heading to Geylang, to interview some foreign workers for our article.
The teh tarik flavoured ice cream was so awesome!
(Though I would strongly recommend a cup of cold milk to go with.)
I'd wanna go there w/ T someday. And have our picture on the wall. Heheheh! :)
I love long bus rides.
Especially those with good company!
Let the rest of the day be awesome,
Oh and tomorrow's Friday! Meaning I'll get to see T!
WEEEEEEEEEE~
Okay, hear from me again!
Here's me blogging while on the move.

"The World is our playground."

Running in water;

2012-01-26T08:00:00.000+08:00

Right now, it's like I'm going at my fastest pace, but still I am going slow.
The world is moving around me too fast and I'm unable to keep up. I need a long break after the exams. I need to get back my energy from last year!
C'mon jamie!

Time to wait;

2012-01-24T22:14:00.001+08:00

If you'd stay with me, for me.
The future is ours to mould.
The journey will be tough,
But if we can stick together to be tougher,
Nothing can't be done.
Our Life is a time capsule.
Who will we be when we look at what we've kept?
When time passes and the lights turn green,
We'll get to cross with ease, hand in hand.
You'll be mine & I'll be yours to stay the night.

Hello there!

2012-01-19T23:48:00.001+08:00

I haven't been here for a long time, but then.........................
To cut all the sorrow and busy-ness short,
I enjoyed my time today w/ the boy. Hehehe.
Okay, I'm too tired now! Bye!!!! :D

Silent promises;

2012-01-16T11:33:00.001+08:00

From the time I realised you really cared, I promised to be there for you, no matter what. And do everything within my capabilities, to listen when you needed someone. To give you hugs when you were sad.
To trust you and your actions, and to do whatever I felt was the best outcome for you.
It's funny how we'll eventually perhaps, not be together, but I made decisions that were ready for the future.
You made me feel loved, and I was determined to shower that on you as well.
You accepted me at my best, you stayed w/ me at my worst.
<3

Multimedia message

2012-01-15T23:52:00.001+08:00

It's so tiring being strong sometimes..
:'(

Multimedia message

2012-01-15T22:50:00.001+08:00

"Sometimes I feel so hurt.
Words, they pierce through my flesh.
These words, weren't they first tested?
Were they intentional?
They bring me down, and tear me apart.
Am I not worthy?"

Meow;

2012-01-14T21:28:00.002+08:00

"When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit." - Unknown

The first time I heard of this poem was when I was in Primary 3.
It's been in my head ever since.
So perfect strung into sentences,
with the simple and direct message behind it.

So recently many things have been happening to the people around me,
many I must say are very brave,
to make decisions that hurt, to make decisions that are right.
I always tell people to look at things from a third person's point of view,
because only then would you have the right mind to think about what to do.
As a third person, I don't always tell them what they want to hear,
and it's not because I want to go against them,
but that's just what people see.
And that is often what YOU should be seeing too.
It's just that attachment and feelings of the heart twist your thinking,
making everything harder.
Yes no?
I'm sure you all have that one friend that you want to tell, how pathetic their life it.
It is the same.

So anyway, first ZD training of the year!
I hope I learn faster this year,
and won't really be the blur one around anymore.
hahha!
Okay, need to get started on my article soon!
I'm so bad at it, I really hope I pass. :/

Something happened;

2012-01-13T22:45:00.003+08:00

They saw something.

And now I no longer have the freedom I took 4 months to obtain.

I wish they would just accept the fact that there are certain things they cannot control.

Certain things that I can make decisions for.

Certain things I wouldn't tell, and why I wouldn't.

They are making Life so difficult for me.

Why can't they just see me happy?

Why don't they have faith in me?

Hello, I may be the youngest but i'm not your baby.

I am your child.

And you were a child before.

Try to understand.

Are you being fair?

A dream;

2012-01-13T08:01:00.001+08:00

I had such a fun and fairytale-like dream yesterday!
So awesome.
On the roof top, and dancing till the sun set.
So gentle, so light.
Felt so real!!!

2012-01-12T21:53:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling like shit today.

I am going to sleep everything off,

and feel better tomorrow.

Let's try. :)

Not safe;

2012-01-12T18:02:00.001+08:00

I have so much to say, to type out but I can't do so here, or anywhere.

Cold morning;

2012-01-12T08:02:00.001+08:00

Today is the day I face difficult people again.
Please let me have the strength to be patient, and explain to them things.
Let me be open and not quickly angered!
So, I commit my day to you Lord,
Use me as you will!

Amen!

I am tired;

2012-01-10T21:49:00.003+08:00

Somebody asked me today,

if i'd want to love or to be loved.

Usually i'd reply to love,

but this time I said to be loved.

Because to love and not be loved in return, is the most painful thing.

I know how it hurts and I don't want to be under that.

On a side note, I am so, mentally drained.

I want to hug you and cry.

That's how frustrated I am..

The kind of disappointment;

2012-01-10T17:27:00.001+08:00

That shatters your heart and makes you want to scream your lungs out.
You cry so hard you don't make a sound,
And you bury yourself in your pillows,
Phone away, hair in a mess, face a disaster and veins popping out from your neck.
You feel so much pain, but you can't make it stop cause they're not physical.
You reach in to comfort your soul but you remember the things that made you this way.
To suck it up, tell yourself you're stronger than this. You don't deserve these shit, you say you'll stand up.
You wipe the tears away and you tell yourself it'll be over.
That the pain will leave eventually and you'll have your happily ever after.
You watch as the last tear flows from your cheek and into your hand.
You feel like you took a shot through your chest and you bleed in silence.

I know, I know how it feels to be thrown from a high building. To see what you thought was perfect crumble to lies.
I know what it feels like to be alone and to feel so defenceless because you have no one to trust.
You're a turtle without it's shell.
You're a homeless person who has no one to turn to.
You feel like you want to sleep it off, because people tell you that you'll feel better.
You laugh to yourself because you know it's, what they call, bullshit.
What do they know?
Well, I know.

Blowing out my mind;

2012-01-07T21:37:00.003+08:00

They say when you're in love you're mind blocked. I guess it's true cause though I see everyone, the only person I see is you. @psycholific.

Mid week;

2012-01-04T23:36:00.001+08:00

"God will make a way, when there seems to be no way. With love and strength, we cannot see, he will make a way for me."

Sometimes I wonder if I'm giving correct advice.
I tend to think a lot before sending anything to anyone, re-reading my messages to make sure there aren't any mistakes. And I think many times I try to give the best to the ones that need it, that I end up giving them the worst.
I subconsciously give special treatment, and here I am talking about equality.

Oh God, teach me how to handle things better. I have a long way, but I need the skill now. Help me along the way kay?

Bubbly;

2012-01-04T08:32:00.001+08:00

"Cause every time you hold me in your arms, I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth."

I'm on the bus to school!
It's Wednesday already! I'm feel tired though. God replenish my strength!
There is training today, let everything go well, and let it be productive! :)
I'm having a new battery in my bb now, parents got it for me last night!
Didn't really fit, but after a few 'lightbulb' moments from my dad, they do now!
& so far so good! Been on Ubersocial and fb and music play list since I left the house!

OH SPEAKING OF WHICH.
I left the house to find out I was wearing Joel's shorts and jersey. :(
Both number 1!
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Cause momma can't remember that I'm no. 21 & not 1.
Hahahah! Oh bother.
Now I look so huge!
Gonna change later. No pants, but just the shirt. Hahahaah! :)
Have a great day everyone! It's midweek!
We're getting to the holidays already! :P

Xoxo

It's so hard to lie, yes/no?

2012-01-03T21:00:00.004+08:00

There are many things on my mind now.
Things that are happening to my friends,
to their families, or even in my life.
And they all boil down to one word - Regrets.
How many of us can safely say that we haven't regretted doing anything.
Or maybe for some, regretted not doing anything.
Regrets.
An unfortunate part of Life.
They say we should live without regrets.
But let's face it, no matter what you do, you're either going to regret doing it,
or not doing it.
I have done things I haven't been happy about.
Once in a while they come back, to try to get on my nerves.
But hey, that's a good thing, to a certain extent.
It goes to show that whatever you did isn't taken as a norm.
It serves as a reminded to remind us not to make the same mistakes again.
For many people living with regrets is a painful thing.
But somehow or rather, we all live with it.
Some handle it better than others,
some pretend it doesn't exist.
Some people can't call them regrets because they're doing it till today.
But what can we do with this regret?
Apart from leaving it in the past,
we have to learn to face it.
This means not telling any lies,
because just like Pinocchio, the lies will surface.
And just like him, it will be visible to people.
It will lead from one lie, to another, and another.
I don't really have an ending for this post.
I've just heard about something, and I felt that I needed to let it go somewhere.
I want whatever I am regretting, to be a lesson.
I know somethings are not reversible.
But let that not stop me, or you that is reading this.
Ever heard of the saying that if there is a will, there is a way?
It's true.
Things can only be as complicated or as easy you make it seem.
Well, God washes away our Sins.
Once we've confessed, we are forgiven.
But we must not revert back to what we were, or even what we did!
Be it scolding a vulgarity, or falling out with your parents.
A little late for a New year resolution,
but here goes mine:

"In the year 2012, I shall be the me without regrets, and the person who is not vicious with her words. One that will take the time to listen to those around me, And one that will not belittle any opportunity. Everyone is equal. And everyone deserves to be loved. I want to be someone that people will look up to. To be a faith bringer to those around me. And to be a determined fighter no matter how many times I might fall. And in everything, I want to give only my best."

I'm back! 2012 is here!

2012-01-01T17:37:00.001+08:00

HIHI!
My phone has been giving me a lot of problems, and so has my SIM card.
So I haven't been able to blog these few days!
Anw, had count down w/ T and some friends at his place yesterday!
Doesn't really feel like a New year, but I'm hoping this year will be so fresh, with new hope for everyone!
Letting go isn't easy but if you're determined, anything is possible!
So I'm walking home now, am so tired cause I slept at 6?
Then it's out for dinner w/ my family later! :)
Yay!
2012, Please be great!
Help me grow stronger! :P
Heheheeheh.

To think to think to think;

2011-12-29T02:19:00.001+08:00

I'm the sort of person that thinks that I ought to think one way, so I think that way.
Confusing?
I confuse myself sometimes too.
It's as if I'm always viewing myself from afar.
So I think that I would need to behave like that, just because everyone does, and then I think to think that way is right.
Not clear?
-
I'm walking down a path, and I read a text message. I think about how I'm supposed to react, then act that way.
My reaction doesn't naturally show.
It's planned.
Why am I so weird?

The gift exchange;

2011-12-29T00:24:00.002+08:00

Today I finally met up with T,
and we exchanged our gifts!
This year was the same but different,
he was overseas for Christmas again,
but then we had a gift exchange!
Hehehhe.
That's what he got for me from Thailand.
So thoughtful of him, to think that he got me clothes!
And so did his dad!
hahahahhaha. And some accessories and formal wear etc.
Spent the whole day at his place,
so good to have him back.
hehe!

Now he's at some club with a few of the guys.
I don't really get why he chooses to go when he won't enjoy himself!
Oh well, I doubt i'll every really understand guys.
haha!
And it's not that I don't trust him,
but I really don't trust his company!
Be if my good friend or his good friend.
As long as it's not me, I won't go to bed worry free.
What's up with this 'I'm turning 18 and I'm going clubbing'
So lame please.......
What are you all trying to prove?
-.-
You get drunk, get lost, waste money, and feel horrible the next day.
You turn 18 but behave like you're eight.
Because of you, some other people that don't wish to club have to attend cause they're your friend?
I hope all the drunkards fall from a cliff or something.

I just had this thought;

2011-12-28T00:02:00.002+08:00

Why is it so difficult to say no to people?
I've always had this problem rejecting people.
Perhaps it's because I find it hard to accept rejection,
so I don't want other people do experience the same.
But is this, act of unwilling willingness bad to other people?
After all, isn't this what they call 'hypocritical'?
So then, how do we tackle something like that?
Say no and feel guilty, because you leave someone feeling sad?
Or say yes, but still feel guilty but at least you tried?
Why is it so hard to cater to different people?
Oh man, so many question marks in the post!

HEHHE MY BOY IS BACK IN SG. WOOOOOOHOOOOOO~

Not having any plan is a plan to fail.

2011-12-27T19:41:00.002+08:00

It's so difficult to get answers out of people. WHY???

I hate it when I ask someone something and they go, maybe, i don't know and stuff like that.

I need to plan for so many things now, and i'm not capable for this job.

We don't even have enough people.

Some might say i'm cocky(whatever this means)

but I really cannot stand people who think that they're so important.

Get a grip of your existence.

Not everyone needs you..

So today during RPU's meeting, I was so irritated with Guangzhi.

Can't he just shut up and listen?

If he's already given me this 'authority' to help him lead the team,

and he's not giving me any respect.

How's this going to work out?

Oh God help me.

I'm not good at such stuff, these planning, talking, and teaching.

Teach me to teach!

Oh a side note, My boy's on the plan back now!

gonna go meet him tomorrow for our gift exchange! hehe!

Merry Christmas everyone!

2011-12-25T23:46:00.002+08:00

Greetings from home!

Wishing everyone a merry christmas!

I hope you all enjoyed your day today, be it with your loved ones,

friends, family.

The season of giving has come, and IT'S THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA .

hehehhehe!

Someone's having the time of his life, over at Thailand.

I know how much he wishes for me to be there,

and for us to go overseas together someday!

I really wish that 2012 will give us this chance, cause I know it'll be lots of fun!

What can be more lovely than spending time with a loved one out of this stressful country.

heheheeh.

So anyway, I spent my day with Evelyn, meiting, leejie, briano and lucas and 3 dogs!

And then went for steamboat dinner with my family. :)

I'm in need of cash now, real badly...

God, help me manage my money more wisely!

xoxo

A whole new world;

2011-12-23T07:21:00.001+08:00

Rule number 1: identify
Rule number 2: Confront
Rule number 3: decide.

Three main rules I live my life by.
Seems like the worst is over cause cofrontation has taken place!
Let today be a new day!
Oh yes, T's flying for Thailand today too! While I'm at training. :(
Safe journey for him!
Hope he doesn't get motion sickness.
Hahaha. He owes me a piggy back rideeeee!
As for me, I'm up, and ready for training!
Woopeeeeeeeeeee! ~

Multimedia message

2011-12-22T14:21:00.001+08:00

I really never felt so sad before.
Priorities.
I wish I meant a little more.
I'm sure I meant the world once.
Guess that once is over~

Happy 28th monthsary!

2011-12-21T21:57:00.001+08:00

My dearest love,
It's been such a ride.
I never once regretted knowing you, and being able to be a part of you.
cheers to us, and the many more months/years to come!
Love you to bits!! <3

Every time I read it,

2011-12-21T19:36:00.001+08:00

I am reminded of the past.
I smile, I tear, I laugh.
It'd be a lie if I say you didn't care,
Because you really, really did. :')

Tonight,

2011-12-20T01:20:00.001+08:00

I have a million things on my mind.
They're moving at such fast pace, I can hardly keep up.
The bottle's filling up to its brim.
I want an empty bottle..

Movie marathon

2011-12-20T00:22:00.002+08:00

so, recently I started following this series of shows,

it's a chinese show,

and the story line can be considered very realistic and perhaps many would be able to relate to when in the midst of finding the right partner.

So the main question eventually, is

'Who will he choose?'

Sometimes we're so blinded by what's around us, we don't see what's in front of us.

and I am searching for the answer too.

When will it ever be answered?

A crave for attention.

2011-12-17T13:46:00.001+08:00

Picture taking and cameras!

2011-12-16T21:05:00.002+08:00

I really love taking pictures, I want to have a whole house full of cameras.
I want to go on a road trip with you.
Out of the country, with all my cameras, different kinds,
and record the whole journey in a book.
I want to write so many things and details in there,
Draw smiley faces and heart shapes.
Scribble like there's no tomorrow,
we'd walk routes no man took before, go to road side stalls,
buy small key chains and feed each other food that'd be made sweet just because we're feeding each other.
I'll fill the book up with stickers and polariods and crazy pictures.
And keep that book with me forever.
That, is what I want. <3

Selective knowledge;

2011-12-15T00:04:00.001+08:00

I am so tired.
I really am.
But I'm so glad that tomorrow is tomorrow!
It's the last day of school!
I shall sleep now, cause when I don't my mind tries to get logical w/ me.
& trust me, it really isn't!
So, goodnight Earthlings!
Oh did you know that Scientists found another planet like Earth?!
But it's a few hundred/thousand light years away.
Okay. I'm toooo tired!
Sleep tight y'all! :)

Love, me.

Gooooood morning!

2011-12-14T08:39:00.001+08:00

I got on the bus 4 minutes earlier than usual. So I won't have to rush later on! :)
I'm feeling really tired, again.
Didn't really dream much yesterday, but I don't know why it always feels as if I don't sleep.
So anyway, today is wednesday, and Wednesdays are the killer days because we have a horrible Facilitator.
She Kills us on the spot for not doing what she wants. I'm sure everyone, while on the way to school's, praying she doesn't come.
But, whatever, I haven't forgotten that I want to get all B(s) & A(s) for this last week!
Today and tomorrow's the real challenge.
C'mon God, help me!
I know it'll be tough but.......
Through you all things are possible. Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh.

Exhausted but standing;

2011-12-13T23:05:00.002+08:00

I am so physically and mentally tired!
I really want the holiday to come quick,
though I don't really want it to come.
Some personal reasons, hence the love hate relationship.
But y'know, tomorrow is Wednesday!
Thursday I within reach, and i'll hang in there!
Doing some drills research right now!
Thank God for the boy to help me.
hahah!
I hope the weather'll be great tomorrow!
Have a splendid night all! :D

A Mother's journal;

2011-12-12T22:35:00.003+08:00

Just a short video my group members and I did today for the lesson.
It's purpose is to tug at heartstrings of the current youth.
We came up with this idea with family in mind, because that's something everyone has.
I hope you all enjoy this!
I showed it to my mum and was it was a little awkward hearing my own voice.
I personally think i sound so much more squeaky in recordings.
hahahahahahha!

Dear you, You are awesome. <3

This!

2011-12-12T00:04:00.001+08:00

Just made my night.
Hehehe.

Mmmh,

2011-12-11T23:44:00.001+08:00

Know what? Forget what I said.
I'm gonna concentrate on getting A(s) & B(s)
For this last week of school.
Come tomorrow, I'll be ready!

Le sigh,

2011-12-11T23:05:00.002+08:00

The amount of A(s) and C(s) i'm getting for my daily grades
are really fighting against each other.
Every time I get an A, some facilitator decides to give me a C.
Especially this one particular one that 'teaches' Media writing.
Teaches, with the open and close inverted commas because he is so bad at it,
and oblivious to hard work.
So, this particular faci grades students on their RJ.
Which means that no matter how much attention you give during lesson,
if your RJ sucks, yur grade would probably suck as well.
Yes, it's as crude as I make it sound.
So maybe it's me, because everyone else gets A(s) and B(s) for his lesson,
but I keep getting C(s).
Firstly, his RJ questions are not even logical, and secondly, his comments are just so,
_________(some people might insert some vulgarities in here).
Remind me why i'm taking this module again?
Oh wait, it's because people here want to be journalists.
What a boring job.
And again I say, why put in so much effort when i'm going to get a C anyway?
Sickening piece of crap.
Can't wait for this semester to be over, so I don't have to see his shit face.
Urgh. Been so long since i've polluted my blog w/ rants about useless people.

Morning tune,

2011-12-11T11:11:00.001+08:00

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And it's all about you,
All about you Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it,
But it's all about you, all about you, Jesus.

Let today be great!

Garden;

2011-12-10T23:00:00.001+08:00

I want a home, with a huge garden so my kids can play in.
I want a home that's made of bricks,
One that'll have friends over every weekend.
I want the flooring to be small brown tiles.
A bed room with timeline pictures of me and my love.
Soft lights all around the place.
And the atmosphere of Love that will fill anyone that enters.

I think I'm gna;

2011-12-10T00:19:00.001+08:00

Fail marketing UT2!!!!!!!!!!!!
Checked my answers w/ the ones teacher showed us, then only got like, 4 marks? :(
Out of idk, 30?
I hope they'll help me pass!
Ohno!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, Day 2 of RPU's training.
I think there's much more I have to plan!
The rain keeps getting in the way,
I can't do much physical indoors because they don't have their proper footwear!
Mmmmh, Joel has given me some tips.
Time to put them to action!
Jiayou jamie!

2011-12-08T20:43:00.002+08:00

There 's always a point of my life I feel clingy,
and another part after that,
is when i feel that it's time to distance myself from people.
Because something's not right,
because maybe i'm not seen anymore.
IT's what I tell myself months before,
I play safe, so when I need to take action,
pain won't be so much more of an issue.

Today has been rough for me.
And I just feel like going to someone and pouring everything out.
But that's not what I do.
Tomorrow will be better, I promise.
And I will sleep this feeling off.
I promise, again.
:(

Home alone;

2011-12-08T17:35:00.001+08:00

It's dinner with myself again.
How long have I not seen my boyfriend?
Long enough for me.
I hope it's home alone for me later.
I really would rather being alone then to have people in the house.
Ohwell!

Dear God,

2011-12-07T22:43:00.000+08:00

I always believe that your angels are all around.

I imagine them to be little ones,

or sometimes big ones.

And when I pray I imagine them waiting for me to finish, then seal my prayer up

and fly to the sky, to give it to you.

I want to see your angels.

I'm so excited to!
I bet one is peeping at my screen right now.

hahaha! :)

I'm so tired!

Mentally.

I didn't really sleep very early last night, so i'm going to sleep now!

tata!

Let me be your shelter:

2011-12-07T00:02:00.001+08:00

I've always been a very careful person,
Afraid to fall, afraid to fail, afraid to believe.
But the 4 closest people, friends in my Life
Are slowly opening my eyes.
God, why of over millions of people in the world,
Why these 4?
Open my eyes to what man can't see.
I want to know you more.

Two is better than one;

2011-12-06T07:47:00.001+08:00

Last night was weird.
I think I slept too much!
So I'm feel a little sick today, but nevertheless, heading to school. In fact, I'm reaching the MRT station already.
I'm having a craving for a certain song today,
And I'm listening to Two is better than one.
It's like food to my soul.

Taking my time to walk now, I think I'm running just a little late, but nothing I can't handle.
Today feels great!
Let today be so awesome!
Everyone deserves an awesome start.

:)

Letters to juliet;

2011-12-05T22:10:00.001+08:00

"What and if, are two harmless words,
But when put together, they are words that can haunt you for the rest of your life."

So true, I cannot, relate more to this.

A mental ocean view;

2011-12-05T19:31:00.004+08:00

Is it true that guys don't want to be too cared for,
but that's just everything a girl wants to be?
Sometimes I wonder if I care too much.
Too much for my own good.
I mean, after all everyone should have their own space right?
I think it's become habitual, to show concern.
So much so, I become naggy.
But it's how I would want to be treated,
noticed for every detail, remember for every word spoken.
Do onto others, what you want others to do unto you, no?
But then again, it might not be what the other party wants.
I don't mean to be naggy,
I'm just over concerned because I want the person to feel loved too!
I'm particular about little details that the person says because I know how it feels
to not be heard.
And I try to give all my attention because I know people leave if they're not attended to and I guess the main thing boils down to this:

I think i've grown afraid to lose you.

How now brown cow?

Chilly winter;

2011-12-03T00:44:00.001+08:00

Officially the third day of December, it has rained for the third day in a row!
Christmas feeling is definitely coming
Already! I can't wait! I really love Christmas. Apart from it being Jesus' birthday, it's also a time of Giving!
Personally I love giving.
Or rather, having the means to give!
I'm a bad present picker, but I really like to make people happy, and because I get happy when people give me presents, I presume they're happy if I give them presents too right? Hehe! :)

I love taking pictures, of the decorations, pretty & handsome well dressed people!
And because of the cool weather, I hardly perspire! What I love the most.
Oh and, Somehow when I think of Christmas, it's just a month of Love.
Whereas Chinese New Year's a gambling month.
So I prefer Christmas! :D
I want to do an Angel mortal w/ RPU.
But I haven't thought of how to carry it all out yet!
Currently my boy's playing his computer games, and I'm about to sleep.
I'm feeling really happy,
And I'm grateful for someone special like him! :P

This lovely month, I want to make a change in someone's Life.
Anyone. Let it be a season of giving, and receiving, and loving, and smiling. :)

Oh and, I'm going to JB for some shopping tomorrow! Teehee.
Dear Terence, please study hard okay?
Mst is next week!
You can get through this!
Do it once, do it well. :)
Hehe! Jiayou! Mai fang qi! :*
You're capable of ace-ing your papers,
And you will!
If you work hard kay!
I'll see you when I'm back from jb!
Hehe, have an awesome day! It's december!

Okay, time for bed!
Cheerios torteerios!
;)

'Love in the present tense.'

2011-11-30T19:54:00.003+08:00

I've been down with some bug these few days.
Yesterday my left ear was blocked, and it hurt so badly I felt paralyzed.
Today it started to hurt in class again,
good thing my classmate had some panadol and offered me one.
Okay, so after school I cabbed over to T's place!
He got me a bright orange shorts from Manila!
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.
And it fits me perfectly!
yay!
I've got another 'sleeping' pants!
I shall take a picture and post it up someday.
So glad to have him back!
The thing about me is that my memory is really hopeless,
and i'm pretty sure I had a lot of things to share with him,
Throughout the days he wasn't in SG.
But when we met, he immediately gave me a hug and then I forgot everything. hehe ^^

I never thought i'd talk so freely with someone before.
I've always been very protective of myself,
never told anyone anything beyond what is visible.
Thank God for someone like him,
it's really nice to be able to tell anything and everything to someone sometimes.
:')

I've fallen in love,

2011-11-28T22:42:00.001+08:00

With the museum I visited for the first time today!
It was such an exciting trip! Heheeheh.
I extremely love the colours everywhere, the layout, the atmosphere, everything!
It's definitely a place I would want to linger in forever!
I wouldn't mind having a home designed by the person who designed the museum. Haha.

On a side note: T is probably on the plane home already! ^^
HIPHIPHURAY CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM TMRW!HEHEEHEH.
Let's see if he got me anything.....
:P

Day 2;

2011-11-27T17:55:00.001+08:00

I haven't heard from T yet,
And it's raining again!
Was kinda more sick last night, throat was being such a spoiler.
And I had the bad dream..
Felt so real, but thank God it isn't. :S
I'm going to ssc for dinner w/ my folks now!
On a side note: I'm going to the museum tomorrow!
I've been looking forward to it and I hope it'll be fun!
Should I bring my camera?
Haha!
But I wanna bring a small bag........
Mmmh.
Anw, hear from me soon!
Oh and, I read this from somewhere.

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is."- Albert Einstein

(Delayed) Day 1;

2011-11-27T11:40:00.001+08:00

I'm gna give a short post because I'm kinda sick.
Flu, sore throat and a little bit of sore eyes! :/
And I keep having nose blocks.
Ohmy.
Hope I'll be well be Monday, cause I'm going to the museum! YAY!!!!!
Never been there before. Hehe.
Okay, time for bed & rest my throat!

T says it's been windy & sunny there, unlike in SG when it was pouring this afternoon. I miss him already!

I had,

2011-11-27T11:25:00.001+08:00

A super bad dream last night.......

Tonight,

2011-11-26T23:45:00.001+08:00

My throat really hurts now,
And I keep coughing!
And I think I've got sore eyes.
Ohman.
I remember the time I had fever and I was sleeping, then T woke me up and forced me to drinking something.. Black.
Eeeeeeeeeeew.
It was so stinky and bitter.
Okay, I feel like puking now.

The first few hours;

2011-11-25T21:42:00.002+08:00

It hasn't even been a day since he's been gone!
I'm having a very bad feeling about my UT1.
I promise i'll work on the grades I get,
and then see if my answering style fits everything!
I received a text from him about 30 mins ago,
and he has landed safely!
heheheeh.
Oh man, I don't want him to be there, yet i'm happy he is.
I'm sure he'll gain a lot of experience! :)

So.. About that time capsule I was talking about.
I asked a few people to write letters to themselves,
and then we'll place them in this time capsule and read it again 5 years down the road!
I know it's been done so many times in movies before,
but how many times does it really happen in real life?
The initial plan was 10 years, but that really is a long time, and so much can happen.
I think 5 will be slightly better.
I think it's good to look back, when you're there,
and feel like you've made progress,
and look at how you've overcome your current emotions.
I've yet to write my letter to myself,
and I really wonder what i'll be writing about!
Maybe about T & I.
About my school Life, friends?
Back then, all I ever did head home after school for porridge that my mum would prepare for my little cousins we were baby sitting.
hehehe.
I remember all the silly things I did in primary school.
And very often I was asked by my guy friends to play their girlfriend,
just so that could get away from other girls.
HAHAAHHAHAAHAH!
It was as sudden thought I had when I was on the bus the other day.
I bet I was seen as such a flirt to other girls because of the number of 'boyfriends' I had.
HAHAHAHA .
Those were the days, do silly things, say things you don't ever mean, and then go home and forget about everything.
I always enjoyed schooling, for the people.
Good company produces good journey.
:)
Are they people in your Life those that will make your Journey in Life a meaningful one?
Or are they.. The thorns on the rose?

Hello boyfriend!
Hope you're doing well there!
Just remember to give your best!
Text me when you can! <3
Sleep well, and tight!
No mosquitoes attacking you tonight! :P

Manila tomorrow!

2011-11-24T22:44:00.002+08:00

My boyfriend is flying to Manila tomorrow,
and he'll be back on Tuesday morning!
Was so reluctant to let him go just now.
But he'll be back soon, right?
Hopefully in one piece!
So, the picture above is to keep me company when I need someone to talk to.
heh. :)
It's kinda candid because he promised me ONE picture,
but when i was talking he took it already. >:
So I kind of have the "ehhhhh" face.
HAHAHAH!
I think the main reason why I don't like him to go overseas,
is because he'll be far away from me!
And he's the one I talk to when I have problems.
Or we just talk about everything and anything!

So..... let's do this!
he'll be back soon. :)
So now, i've decided to create a time capsule!
Will tell you all more about it soon! hehehe.
Have a great night! <3

Save journey T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :*
All the best for your matches!!

A ballerina's dance;

2011-11-23T22:06:00.002+08:00

Call this random, but i think ballerinas are really pretty and so swan like!
Must be because of black swan.
hahah! I didn't really get that show anyway.. :/
I'm so tired!
And i've finally, FINALLY finished my article!
Thank goodness i have.
I don't expect any good grade, i'm just praying he doesn't fail me!
And that i don't fail my UT tomorrow.
I'm kind of feeling rather lazy to blog tonight,
but just to tell you how my day went,
I didn't get pissed off today.
heh.
That's how awesome it was! :P

Oh yes, hello there, my Live Laugh Love friend.
Happiness is within reach always.
Remember, the best decisions are never the easiest!
Now may you go with wisdom do do what is right in Life. :)
-hug-

Eww ill.

2011-11-22T23:23:00.001+08:00

I don't ever want to be a tree.
Or a plant.
I won't even want to have ants crawling over me and making me itchy like a crazy hippo while I stand there and look glamorous.
Hahaahah!
Today shall be post short day because I'm really tired, and tomorrow is yet another long day!

Honestly I feel that I'm losing the spark of going to school already.
At least for now, because the end of the year is coming and it's an indication that I should be having my break now now now!
I'm tired from the daily routine.
I need to take some time off, so I can refresh myself!

I think I know myself pretty well,
And I really need a break.
It'll be for my own good!
Go, and come back stronger. :)

Heh. So I managed to meet T at wlds, had to make him wait a bit tho. And then we travelled home together.
I really appreciate these acts of effort, tho it could mean we'll only be seeing each other for half an hour, it's still a factor that I can look forward to, and to smile at after the whole long day!

Oh and, I saw chow on my way to school, it's been so long since I've met up w/ my pri sch friends!
Really want to mix w/ that bunch again.
Those were the days of fun joy and laughter!
All the silly girl and boy thing,
The times when vulgarities almost didn't exist!
Which would bring me to my next point on, I don't know what kind of society my children are going to grow up in.
But I'm sleepy and I'm not gna type anymore on my bb cause...
Well, my fingers are tired!
& I'm hungry.

Okay!
Time for bed!
Tomorrow is so tough. I can feel it already!
Oh God give me strenght! & T too!
He just ended his trg at somerset. So far..................................
Give him energy to wake up on time tomorrow please!
Thank you! :)

It's a good start!

2011-11-22T07:57:00.001+08:00

Okay, so I'm on the train now, listening to 'Why' by secondhand serenade!
I like this song, or songs like this. Hahaha!
So soothing!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanted to take the bus to school today but I didn't know the interval.
so far my day has been great!
Yesterday's treat for the boy became a partial treat when he smuggled some money into my laptop bag he was carrying...................... -.-

I'm having a little sore throat, but I'm sure today's going to be great!
Oh oh I'm alighting now!
Have fun everyone!
The greatest start of the day, is you telling yourself you're beautiful/handsome, and you'll overcome every obstacle!
Heh.

Off to school now! :)

The time of month again! :P

2011-11-21T08:07:00.001+08:00

Heheheheheh
Happy 27th monthsary, my dearest one!
Many have been asking me recently,
About how we met, and how we have been tgt for this long.
Call it timely, but I would have to say it wasn't always hard, but we've had our fair share. :)
Being w/ you has been amazing.
You're, amazing!

Can't wait to see you later!
Every time you treat, this time is my treat okay? :)
Heh.
Today is going to be long, but it'll be great! :D

Love you!

The beast of the fields.

2011-11-19T22:22:00.001+08:00

So, today was the end of Polite.
We lost to TP and we're in last place.
I was pretty disappointed in myself,
I must say, because I always set expectations for myself, and I felt that I didn't meet them for this polite.

However the take away would be the realisation of the different kinds of team mates I have.
Personally I like studying people.
They reason they react in someway,
The way the do things,
And how I can help them.
And I believe I now have a better view on the people that can do well with no pushing, and those that need all the pushing they can get.

I was kind of frustrated during the match, because the reasons why we didn't win, was because of silly mistakes.
The kind that we should never make.
Maybe the had taller players, faster players, but each team has their forte.
But once the forte is screwed, so is the game play.

So I'm here on the mattress(not commonly heard of these days), thinking about a lot of things.
I asked Joel about what can be done, and from my description about the situation to him, he does suggest we hire a coach.
I'll leave that to Guangzhi to settle.

The boy was rather discouraged,
And disappointed in himself too.
I could see how hard he was trying,
Sometimes day dreaming.
And for that split second, a goal was scored.
I'm really bad with words, so all I could do was give him enough water to hydrate himself, and to be next to him, physically supporting him!

To my beloved, if you're reading this,
I'm sure you're SPU's captain for a reason.
People see in you what you don't see in yourself!
Your capability to lead, and to move the team forward towards their goal!
Believe in yourself just like how I believe in you, because greater things have yet to come!
Give it a try, be confident!
I'll be behind you all the way! :)
You can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd like to end off with this,
'No doubt having good skills can bring you there. But hard work will bring you beyond, there.'
Work for what you want!
Keep running!
Don't ever give up.
You're always almost reaching!
Wait a little longer and you'll see. :D

Alright! Sleep time!
Tomorrow is a long study day for me!
I don't feel confident of my Media & society paper I did yesterday,
But God I'm just hoping for a B or C.
Pleaseeeeeeee! :/
And give T the anointing that'll guide him in his time of confusion,
Let him make wise decisions!
thank you!!!!!

Nighty night!
Today was an awesome day spent at T's.
I just love being him around,
And certainly love to see him smile. Hehe. Okay goodnight!!!!!! <3

I'm no princess,

2011-11-18T23:42:00.001+08:00

What do I do from here?

Stay strong, and accept that the people around me love me for who I am.
Things, that hopefully not even I can see.
It's difficult, because of the way we humans are created.
Always doubting, and stuff.

Sometimes I really don't feel the way someone feels towards/about me.
It would be so perfect to be the perfect person that lingers in everyone's minds.
The one that people would refer to, when talking about things.

Then there is the point of being myself.
Please love me for who I am,
The average looking low IQ high pitched voice small face girl.
Because I'm afraid I can be no one else.
And you don't have to be anyone else too.
You are special, and irreplaceable.
The first step is to believe everything above.

Let's now start with step 1.
Goodnight!! :)

2011-11-16T22:10:00.002+08:00

I survived today!
In the morning it was kinda tough because I was fighting the urge to skip school.
But I decided not to, cause unlike in secondary school, if I were to skip lessons,
only a MC will help to excuse me.
No parent's letter, or self written letter.

Today was Media and society day, a tough module.
The one that i've been talking about, me not being able to excel in it.
I did my RJ very diligently today, i hope that I won't get a C again!
It's really quite sad to see C(s).
):

After which, I paid the boy a visit at his home!
I went over to play. hahaha!
I really love his company.
Indeed my happy pill!
He's such a joy to be with, and i thank God for him. :D
hehehehehe.

alright! Time for bed! Tomorrow is another tough module!
But I pray that i'll be able to understand what's going on,
and that everything will go smoothly!
Please help me God, I really can't just depend on myself, but on you!
Thank you!

SLEEP TIGHT EVERYONE!
REMEMBER, THERE IS AT LEAST ONE PERSON WHO LOVES YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE!
:D

When you try so hard and you don't succeed,

2011-11-15T22:56:00.005+08:00

"When you get what you want and not what you need."
Recently school has been tough!
I'm not exactly, getting the results i want.
The bad and worst thing, is that i'm trying my best.
I keep trying and i'm working very hard in class,
but the faci(S) somehow do not want to give me a reasonable grade.
sigh or what?

okay, enough with that.
i'm been thinking and being upset about it the whole day because of that,
and so it's time to stop and look forward to tomorrow,
wednesday class, tough class, and i'm going to get through it.
Not very excited, but hopefully, as i always say, nothing i can't handle!

So well, the other day there was a meow outside T's place,
a ginger meow!
It was so cute! heheheehehe.
We bought food to feed it and it was so adorable watching T feed him.
He used the can lid as a spoon, and fed the cat.
Just like feeding a baby!
hahahaha!
So random for a cat to be there, must be someone's cat..
hehe!

okay, i'm rather tired nowwwwwwwwww!
How are all of you out there?
It's tuesday today!
Tomorrow, and we're half way through the week! :P
C'mon! We can do this!

Goodnight all! :D

ohno.

2011-11-13T10:02:00.000+08:00

At this rate, RPU might just get the Last placing in Pol-ite this year!
I'm not sure what went wrong,
Bit it seems as if there are a lot of problems with the team internally!
I don't want to get too involved because i'm in no position to, but why can't people understand?
Mmmh, I think we'll just have to work much much harder for the upcoming ivp,
and next year's pol-ite, where Guangzhi& a few other year threes won't be taking part in because of their graduation from the school!
Things are getting quite complicated...
And honestly, it can get quite frustrating to see your own team mates not wanting to participate during the game, and just sitting at a corner throwing tantrums.
Ultimate is a team sport.
And team means,"Together Everyone Achieves More"
It was such a heart break seeing what happened, happen.
I thought we were ready...
From all the training, and everything.
We have the players!
But why, why when on the field, everything is different?
We lose all our 'superpowers'.
Ohman.
It was indeed a very demoralising day, for RPU.
And i hope there will be changes and mutual understanding for the rest of the training, and such.
In Netball, if you don't make the cut, you only get like a 15% chance of entering a game and playing in it.
And we understand that.
Because we know the importance of the matches, and out goal was to win.
And those that were put out,
or as reserves, they reserved with glory.
Giving full support to the team.
This, is the kind of Team i want RPU to be.
One that isn't selfish, and understands everything that happens.
One that isn't separated by their own beliefs, but one that is glued by a common goal.

I have a lot of reflection to do.
Oh and, good morning!
MY plan was to wake up at around.. 12?
But i'm awake now! hahah!
Yesterday was such a tiring day!
Thank you to all who texted/whatsapped me to encourage me before my matches!
They are greatly appreciated! <3 hehe. I'm sorry i let you all down this year, but the race isn't over, I will be back with my Team next year, better and stronger! Next year, we will be ready skill wise, and mental strength wise! :) Oh and, please pray for my Boy, he sprained his ankle today and it really is quite bad! :(

Sometimes I wonder if i'm invisible.

2011-11-10T23:29:00.002+08:00

It kind of puzzles me, why people don't reply to what I say or ask.
I mean, is it not the usual thing to reply to, let's say, a tweet?
If someone wishes you a good day, it would be nice, to at least reply to that right?
Sometimes people get used to having people around them.
They yes, Take for granted, what they have.
Sometimes i feel hurt because I think my efforts are not seen, because
I do not receive a reply to them.
Then I start to ask myself, if i'm invisible.
I feel so glass like.
I'm sure if someone you didn't see for a very long time said something like,
'nice seeing you today!'
It would definitely receive a reply.
What about someone that you see everyday,
and someone you feel you understand like the back of your hand?
'Hi you looked amazing today! See you tomorrow!'
So.... just because you see the person all the time,
you just regard this piece of praise, this piece of effort,
as.. a statement that doesn't need to be replied?

I mean, honestly..
I am a very easily pleased person.
It wouldn't hurt the other party to just, say something.
But it definitely hurts, when I see my efforts to make someone's day is just taking like the passing wind..........
I mean, do i have to be someone that you hardly see,
to be seen?

it doesn't make sense.
And...

okay, enough for today.
I am very tired,
and Polite is in 2 days!
I hope that the team will be ready, everyone giving nothing, but their best.
Let's go! RPU!

Day - Done

2011-11-08T22:05:00.003+08:00

My one week of not tweeting negative stuff was over on Sunday,
and It has been a good week! :)
I don't really have much time to update much now, because i'm going to bed soon!
Long day tmrw, tough lesson, tough teacher, and long training!
I really hope that trg tmrw will be productive!
Polite is coming, this Saturday to be exact.
And like what T told me, "We've nothing to lose, just everything to gain."
:D

hehe.
be back soon guys!

Day 4!

2011-11-03T23:03:00.001+08:00

I managed to meet up intentionally w/ T today! Hahahaha.
Spend some time at his place, then headed home to study!
It's going to be the first UT paper tmrw, marketing!
I'm not really good at it,
I think I'm not good at it at all..
So, really depending on God to help me!

I'm really sleepy now!
This is what happens when I study, I feel so sleepy & hungry all the time!

Goodnight!
Day 4 has been good, manageable. :)

Mentally tiring day!

2011-11-02T22:53:00.002+08:00

Today's lesson was tough!

Thank God i survived. haha!

But i'm really tired now,

after training and everything.

My shoulders are aching!

oh yes,

Day 3.

Things are getting better!

i'm sure! :)

Oh yes, today the boy's phone and mine got problem again!

He can't receive my texts! ):

Sadly..

I hope it will feel better by tomorrow and help me send my text over to him!

hehe.

Oh yes, marketing tomorrow!

Please give me strength Lord!

& Strength for the boy too!

He's been so busy recently!

I just want him to have enough rest to go through the day with!

Goodnight everyone! :)

Today,

2011-11-01T23:13:00.001+08:00

Day 2, it was rather challenging, considering I did have lots of things I weren't really happy about.
But the good thing is that they didn't really piss me off, now that I think about it. Hehe.

Short post for today, cause I'm kind of really sleepy!
Hope you all had a good day!

Oh yes, I met this really cute toddler today!
Shall upload this picture some other post! :)
Sleep well all!
Sleep well my boy!
Goodnight! :*

When you love someone but it goes to waste.

2011-10-31T22:07:00.002+08:00

There is something about this song,
it's tune, the lyrics, the tempo that gives me this soothing yet heavy feeling.
I kind of like songs like these.

"Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and i will try, to fix you."

Day 1.
So far, i've tweeted 41 times, none about anything angry, or sad.
I feel great.
I came across an unhappy thought, but i closed the page that made me unhappy.
Today, i managed to get pas coding in class.
IT wasn't that hard after all.
Thank God, cause I would never have partial-ed!
Tomorrow though, is Media writing, something I am not good at.
I find it hard to grasp the concept of guessing and working towards
our predictions.
I need to know what happens, then work from there.
That's where i'm mentally blocked,
because I am unable to let myself think freely.
Always caught between the "Won't happen" and "Needs to be practical" thoughts.

I had lunch with Jocelyn today, after so long.
We talked about our different classes,
and the people, and some common people.
Its good to know that the percentage of us being in the same class again is rather high, and i look forward to having her around again!
Come to think of it, there aren't really any 'outcasts' in the current class.
None that would really make me blow my top.
Thank goodness, cause then my one week quest would definitely fail!

So anyway, tomorrow marks the beginning of November.
November would be a busy month,
some stuff are going to change,
Polite is nearing, 12th November.
Dzafir's enlistment's coming, and i'll try to put aside some time for Peiling,
I know how she'll feel.
Boy's going to Manila from the 25th to 28th if i'm not wrong.
My monthsary.
UT 1.
And more as the days progress.
But i just have one request, that this month i'll be able to better manage my emotions.
God give me strength to get past yet another month,
and then we'l be closer to the end of the year.
I'm kinda hoping that this year my mum'll allow me to count down to 2012.
I'd love to do so with T. hehe.

November is a busy month, but with the right attitude, if will past fast and leave beautiful memories.
Let everyone have that positive attitude!
C'mon guys, we can do this! It's all in the mind!
You're stronger than you think!
:)

would I want to be the old me?

2011-10-30T23:26:00.001+08:00

I wonder what I was like.
Definitely less critical.
I think social media has caused me to express how I feel openly,
Too openly.

Last time when I was angry at someone, I'd keep it in, and the anger would subside by the next day.
Somewhat because I didn't really address the situation.

Now, oh now it's different.
I feel angry, I announce it.
And because I address it, I feel like I have the right to be angry.
And this anger stays within me for as long as it likes.

I feel sad, I tweet it.
People Re-tweet it, and the situation is yet again addressed.
When I kept to myself things were so much more peaceful.
When I just came here instead.

Know what?
I'm going to pose a challenge to myself.
I won't tweet anything that is anger or sadness in it,
And if there really is a need,
I shall blog about it.

Let's see how things turn out. Yeah?
Hopefully better!
So, this day next week,
I shall come back with updates on how I've been feeling.
And hopefully if it does me any good, you all would try it too! :D

It's a Monday tomorrow,
No monday blues please?
I'm going to be doing coding, and I am really bad at it!
I hope it'll be an extraordinary day!
For me & Terence!
God give him strength to face the week!
Must be so tiring having to travel all the way to SP, then to RP for gym, then reach home so late.
And let everyone that speaks to him be a blessing!

Thank you and Goodnight! <3

I hate the people I hate.

2011-10-29T16:23:00.001+08:00

Get out of my Life please.

#Important:

2011-10-29T13:53:00.001+08:00

A strike is when one runs from the break to the open.

Loving people.

2011-10-24T19:34:00.002+08:00

Before i was with T, I used to think that no one would like me.
Well, because i don't have straight hair,
Wasn't the prettiest girl on the team,
was in the last class, and didn't put on makeup.
For a period of time when everyone had their boyfriends and girlfriends,
There really was just, me.
Before, i met this other boy but things didn't work out,
and more stories like that.
After a while i stopped looking.
cause i told myself that the people that are in the phase, never get out of the phase.
I kept my head in the future,
and the thought that someone, EVENTUALLY would maybe like me.

They always make it sound so easy to love someone,
and that i would agree.
The feeling of wanting them to be happy.
The sudden realization that when they're happy, you're happy.
But what's the most challenging is love yourself.
Yes. I was never really an emo person.
Okay, maybe once in my entire secondary school life,
but that was just to fit in.
But trust me, you do not have to try to fit in.
Just be yourself.
Okay, back to my story..
I was never really an emo person but i couldn't bring myself to Love myself.
Somehow, i was just not happy.
Be it the hair, my features, my tighs(still right now).
And i understand that you think people look at you,
and they think the ugliest thoughts of you.
But really, that isn't true.

And if you're looking for someone to Love you,
they shouldn't be looking on the outside,
but they should love your heart, and your soul.
And for people to love you, you must first love yourself!
It's hard, i know.

Sometimes before going to bed I still ask myself the same question.
"Why me, not her?"
I struggle with the thought that i'm not pretty enough,
not skinny enough, not clever enough, and stuff like that.
But i'm learning,
to let go of the ark thoughts.
Learning to love myself.
Cause I want my partner to love me more than i love myself too.

Remember this: To be loved, you must first love yourself.

There is not ugly person.
To someone else, you are his/her everything.
When the time comes, you'll see.
All the flaws you think you have, aren't anything in the eyes of those that love you.
Join me on this journey aye?

Multimedia message

2011-10-24T00:27:00.001+08:00

"In you, LORD my God,
I put my trust." - Psalm 25:1 (NIV)

Love song.

2011-10-24T00:19:00.001+08:00

"Skiner merinky dinky ding skiner merinky doo, I, love, you. Doo bee doo bee doo.
I love you in the morning, in the afternoon. I love you in the evening, underneath the moon......."

When I was baby sitting my lil cousin, I used to sing this to him.
He's really special, in literal terms.
And I never wanted anyone to look down on him.
Especially his mother.
He's a gift from God, and has a bright future. And all he needs are people who will love him and give him support.
He is Eight years old now and it's such a joy to have him around.
It's the innocence of Children that can remind one about the blessings in Life.
And I know, he was brought into my Life for a reason.
To remind us to be a blessing to others.

Yet another example of how God places people in your Life to let you know that he has your Life planned out for you.

Isn't he amazing?
We just got to believe. :)

On a lighter note: It's Monday tmrw(today)! Let there be no trace of Monday blues for me and the Boy! It's an awesome day! <3

Sometimes

2011-10-23T22:24:00.001+08:00

You know, I don't want things to be this way.
I want to be like other moms and their daughters, maybe even the best of friends.
God salvage this relationship we have,
Let me be willing to share, to open up..

Someone like you;

2011-10-22T17:03:00.001+08:00

Sometimes it lasts in Love, but sometimes it hurts instead.

21st!

2011-10-21T21:38:00.001+08:00

Our first picture tgt.
Look how much we've changed! Hahahah!
Happy 26th monthsary my Love!
My happy pill & best friend. :')

2011-10-14T22:25:00.002+08:00

God is good.
And i want to trust him in every phase of my Life.
Everything happens for a reason,
and Lord i know you have such a good reason for what i'm facing.
All this difficulty to mix with people,
adapt to my surroundings,
opening up to my family.
You're going to bring me through.
And all i need to do is trust.
You are faithful and your mercy is forever!
Rain your blessings on me please!

Last night was horrible,
but today was better.
Tomorrow is even better!
And it'll only get, better.

To all of you out there that have doubts about the future.
Just believe in Him,
cause if he brings you to it, he'll bring you through it!
We all have that tough phase of Life.
But the end of the tunnel is coming!
You just have to, have to, hang on.

here's a big hug for all of you!
Especially my boy. haha!
<3

Multimedia message

2011-10-13T23:12:00.001+08:00

Feel so damn insignificant right now.

Multimedia message

2011-10-13T22:54:00.001+08:00

I used to love going home, seeing people.
But to me it's just pretty much damn screwed up now.
I don't mind just the home.
I don't need anyone around.
Seriously.
I just hope everyday I'll be asleep by the time they reach home.

2011-10-13T22:01:00.001+08:00

I think, i'm struggling in school.

I never really bothered about my grades,

but then....................

ohman!

No tears

2011-10-12T22:53:00.001+08:00

Gotta be strong and do what I do best. Ignore and hope for the best.

Aww :')

2011-10-11T19:25:00.001+08:00

Received a random notification of encouragement from Trisha!
So sweet of her!

After awhile;

2011-10-10T23:24:00.001+08:00

I learn. And I'm at content even if it means just seeing you for five minutes. :)

Holding on!

2011-10-10T22:33:00.001+08:00

'They got everything in this house, Except a home.'

I am holding on!
What is my driving force?
What is YOUR, driving force?

A reminder to myself:

2011-10-08T21:17:00.002+08:00

"I've been there."

I was talking to T about what i could have chosen if i was given another
chance to re-live my secondary school time.
And, i came to a conclusion that i would most probably have joined
Netball again!
And we came to the part of my story, about how i disliked and dislike netball.
And, it struck me that i was always trying my best,
but the people couldn't see it.
Just because i don't look tired, and i don't look like i've ran fast enough,
i actually did.
I was trying my best and NO one saw it.

And now here i am, being the No one.
I hate it when people are impatient with me, yet i am impatient
with other people now..
I judge and say that people aren't trying enough..

Even if they look like they're not even running, or putting any effort,
i still shouldn't say that they're not trying.
They just might be going through a lot just to do what they're already doing!
Like they say, the best is never enough.
Well, i guess that applies here.

Oh God help me be patient and understanding.
Help me be merciful with my words.
Let me learn!

Lift up your hands;

2011-10-06T21:01:00.002+08:00

School has really been very competitive.
This new class, it's as if everyone wants to be on top.
The moment a group finishes a presentation,
the real competition begins.
The competition of those who can ask the best questions
and those that are able to bring the other group down.

It's really quite scary!
You're done, then they start getting louder and louder.
Asking questions you never thought one would ask.
They are so clever i'm finding it hard to keep up.
Continue like that, i'm going to feel so tired after every class.
God give me strength to overcome the next few weeks!
Let me be able to be somewhere they are too!

I've to read up more about the world, fashion magazines and how people are
advertising and marketing out there.
This is only for one module.

And i can see the difference between me and them.
It is as if they really want to be here, in this course.
They would still come to RP, despite it being a 'lousy' school.
Looking at them make their way to the to, to get what they want.
For me, i'm just happy that i can get into a course in a poly.
So i don't really have that pushing factor.
I don't really know what i want.
I know nothing of these courses that i am introduced.

Oh gosh. I hope, by next week i'll have settled down.
Found my group of friends,
found those i can depend on and i can work with.

I believe, all will be well.
HEAR FROM ME SOON! ;)

2011-10-04T19:55:00.001+08:00

Disturbances;

2011-10-02T23:46:00.001+08:00

My brother just told me about a time he felt that his legs was being pulled while sleeping, and got up to hit around his blanket and it stopped.
Dear God please don't let that happen to me and protect me cause I don't have the energy to hit them like that too!
Rebukeeeeeeeeeee them in Jesus' name!
*gna sleep now*

A little update on my Life:

2011-10-01T23:47:00.001+08:00

There was once when I was in sec one My church friend Sarah told me before my exams that I should: 'Just do your best and God will do the rest.'
And ever since I've been living by that!
Always believing that as long as I do my part he'll do his to see me through.
And thank God, for me, not the best of a 'studier' but I still managed to get a 3.0 for my very first GPA!
Yay! Happy cause I passed!
Kudos to Him for helping someone like me pass. Haha! :)

And also, I've been able to keep up with the Team, rpu.
I feel like they're really full of potential!
And I feel at home when I'm with them!
We don't expect too much, and we usually just go with the flow and give our best shot during training.
Somehow I'm able to find a little confidence in myself when playing with them.
I like the thought that they're willing to learn!
With the exception of a few, that is.
But well, these people will always be there!
& hopefully through this I'll be able to learn more things from both ZD & RPU and maybe with a little bit of luck, improve on what I have.

I'm grateful for all that has been happening so far, new classmates, but the majority of my ex-classmates are in the same class as me again!
And those that I didn't really like aren't!

So, School's starting on Wednesday.
I'm excited!
I hope all will be well!
Really need God's glory to bring me through another sem in RP.

Not to forget my Boy,
Hope he'll too, be blessed!
And God'll do his little wonders in him!

Okay, so, that's my little update.
Hope all of you are doing Great!
Keep believing! ;)

Goodnight!
Hehe.

2011-09-27T18:03:00.002+08:00

School's starting soon,

it's been a while since i've got busy about things that

i ought to be busy with.

So, sometimes i find myself not being able to gather the amount of courage that i need.

There's always the few things one would want/worry about.

Not being pretty enough, clever enough, not funny enough,

not good enough, not perfect enough, not everything enough.

WHATTODO?

2011-09-24T12:52:00.001+08:00

My Dreams & Life are related.

2011-09-22T08:11:00.001+08:00

I dreamt of something last night and I'm bloodly worried now.

Worried sick ):

2011-09-22T00:04:00.001+08:00